


Pay No Mind (to the Demons)

by pterawaters



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Drunken Confessions, F/M, M/M, Multi, Relationship Negotiation, Relationship Problems, Romance, Triad Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:43:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pterawaters/pseuds/pterawaters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn thought he was content living in Lima, right up until Will and Emma's marriage proposal. When he realizes he needs to get out of Lima, he goes the first place he can think of, to Kurt and Puck in LA. When Adam moved to London and Puck got a big opportunity in LA, Kurt chose LA. Now he's searching for someone to fill the Adam-shaped hole in their lives to stabilize his relationship with Puck, but Puck isn't making it easy on him. After all, Puck doesn't understand why Kurt has been so obsessed with finding someone to marry. Will Finn's renewed presence in their lives fix everything, or just make it worse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pay No Mind (to the Demons)

**Author's Note:**

> Pay no mind was written for the [Pinn Kinn Big Bang](http://pinnkinnbigbang.livejournal.com/), and I highly recommend checking out all the other entries! Beta reading/editing was done by chocoholicannanyomous. Thanks again!
> 
>  
> 
> The lovely art for this fic was done by Emily. You can find her [on tumblr.](http://cdrmanamana.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> This fic takes place in an Alternate Universe known as Triad Verse, where humankind has developed to normalize relationships consisting of three people, triads. You can read more about Triad Verse [here](http://triadverse.tumblr.com/post/55892872252/meta-the-triad-verse-primer).

 

Finn figured, even after two years, he wouldn't have collected much at the apartment. When he started packing it up, though, he ran out of boxes pretty quickly. Going to the grocery store and getting more boxes put him behind schedule, but Finn still had a little time to spare before his flight. Now he just had his clothes to pack – the ones for California in his suitcase, and the ones to leave at his parents' house in plastic garbage bags.

Finn pulled a stack of t-shirts out of his dresser drawer, and a delicate sock came with them. It was yellow. One of Emma's. Finn tossed the shirts into his suitcase, sat down on the bed, put his head in his hands, and stared at the sock sitting on the floor.

He was really doing this, wasn't he? Finn was leaving. There just wasn't as much here in Lima for him as he'd thought, and Finn couldn't stand the idea of turning down Will's proposal and then living in the same apartment as them. Living in the same town wasn't even an option. He'd see them in the teacher's lounge and at the grocery store and it just...it wasn't good. Finn needed more.

Things had been weird from the start, even without the age difference. Emma liked to be held, but she barely tolerated kissing and sex was a rare opportunity. After what Terri did to Will and Emma, and after all the failed dates those two had been on (Finn's least favorite had been Carl the dentist, who Will and Emma went so far as to marry for two months before it fell apart. Finn should have learned from history.) by the time Finn showed up with his new teaching degree, Will was desperate for a connection, yes, but he was mostly desperate for sex.

It had been fun, finding new places to get together in the school, being someone's main focus. Even if they couldn't have sex in Emma's presence, Finn liked her a lot. He'd thought they could make it work.

And then Will and Emma had approached Finn one Thursday morning, both of them bright-eyed and excited. Will had stood there, right in front of Finn, and told him, "Emma and I have decided to adopt! We think our application would look stronger if we were married. What do you say?"

"What do I say?" Finn asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and sitting up. He'd been awake late the night before grading, and they didn't even hand him a cup of coffee before throwing this at him. "I say I'm twenty-four and never been married and this is the way you ask me? Because you want a baby?"

"Or an older child," Emma added quickly, nodding her head like she could encourage Finn to choose the right answer. "One who's already potty-trained would be preferable."

Finn couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Emma's comment. "You do realize that children aren't pets, right?"

The reality of it crashed down around Finn. If he got married, if they adopted a kid, Finn was never getting out of Lima. Plus, he'd probably be the one taking care of the kid most of the time. Emma hated germs and various bodily fluids. Will liked grand ideas more than follow through. This was a terrible idea.

Shaking his head and standing up, Finn started to look for some pants. "What are you doing?" Emma asked. "Aren't you going to..."

"We'd... We'd like an answer, Finn." Will touched Finn's arm gently, looking up at him with this sad puppy eyes. "If you're not ready for a kid, we can wait a year or two."

Finn tried to picture changing his mind in a year or two, but he just couldn't. How could he be with people he couldn't commit to having a family with? How could he have let himself get into this situation just because it had been easy? It had definitely been easier than facing life after college alone.

Finn pulled together some things and told them, "I'm going to work." He shut the bathroom door on two disappointed faces.

Their faces had looked even worse when he told them he was leaving. Had Finn really done that? Had he made them believe that he was it for them? Sure, he'd moved in, but his old roommate got into grad school in Chicago and left town. Moving in with his boyfriend and his girlfriend made sense, at the time. Plus, they could all carpool to work together!

Finn finished packing his suitcase and rolled it out to the foyer. He left his keys on the little table next to the door and then hefted his suitcase out to his truck. The back was piled high with his accumulated stuff, so he stuck the suitcase on the passengers' side of the cab.

It was funny. When Finn was a kid, he always imagined what it would be like to get married. He figured Puck would be his husband, and Quinn had almost been their wife. But that wasn't the life any of them had wanted – stuck in this dead-end town with a baby and no money? Quinn was right to give her up. The baby went to a couple of moms, where she had a good home. Things were better this way, though Finn had to admit they weren't much better for him.

Maybe he wasn't supposed to have anyone. He'd been with Rachel for _two years_ and not once in that time had they agreed on who to date. To be honest, their third had probably always been Rachel's ambition, rather than an actual person. According to Kurt, Rachel was still doing well in New York, working her way up the Broadway ladder, not really seeing anyone. It had been nice, though, being on the receiving end of all that intense desire she'd had.

Not that intense was always good. Finn tried to be understanding about Emma's mental health difficulties, but sometimes she could get so intense. He didn't know what to do and he wasn't ready to sign on to feeling helpless like that forever. Breaking Emma's and Will's hearts now had to be better than giving up and flaking out on them years down the road, when there was a kid involved. Finn's own Papa had fucked off to god knows where when his Dad died, unable to deal with the grief, and a wife, and a son.

Finn wasn't going to do that to a kid if he could at all help it.

There wasn't much time left before he had to start driving to Columbus for his flight, so Finn all but tossed his boxes into the half-empty garage and hoped Burt wouldn't get on his case about them. He, Carole, and Paul didn't even really live at the house anymore. Burt only kept it because he was required to have a residence in Ohio. Plus he had meetings with his constituents several times a year and Burt was the kind of guy who'd rather sleep on dusty sheets in his own house than clean sheets in a motel.

Finn would be back for his boxes soon. This trip out to California was just for the sake of getting out of Lima for a week or two before deciding where to move next. Well, and it was about seeing Finn's favorite step-brother and Finn's best friend.

Locking up the garage and the house, Finn took off for Columbus, his eyes avoiding the rearview mirror.

 

~*~

Puck wore a collared shirt, not because it was one he liked particularly well, but because he knew Kurt would bitch if he didn't. Part of him wanted to show up in grubby clothes, de-icer stains on his t-shirt and wearing the ripped-up jeans Kurt only let him wear onstage. Of course, then Kurt would accuse Puck of sabotaging their date. Again.

Seriously, it was the one time and the dude was a complete asshole. He'd insinuated that he expected Kurt to stay home with the adopted kids and cook all the food. On the one hand, Kurt was a good chef, and he did like to cook, but on the other hand Kurt was awful with kids. So maybe Puck stepped on the asshole's foot a little. And maybe Puck took the check while Kurt was in the bathroom and told the guy to leave before he got his face punched.

So yeah, even a year after they'd broken up with Adam and moved to LA, Puck and Kurt were still looking for someone they could date long-term. To be honest, Puck missed Adam more than he let on to Kurt. It was just circumstances and job opportunities that had drawn Adam to London and Puck to LA. Puck knew he should be grateful that Kurt had chosen California instead of England, but Kurt's recent obsession with finding their "one" had dampened that gratitude.

Puck walked into the restaurant exactly two minutes late. It didn't take long to find Kurt sitting at a table by himself. "Sorry," Puck said as he sat down. "Been waiting long?"

"No," Kurt replied, looking up and down Puck's outfit. He didn't complain about it, but he didn't tell Puck he looked nice, either. "I told you to be here fifteen minutes earlier than I arranged for Bryan to meet us. This way we'll look more put together. More like a strong, united couple that someone could marry."

Puck rolled his eyes. He didn't mind being lied to about the time. That was classic Kurt, and he'd accepted a little deviousness. Hell, he'd helped Kurt out with deviousness on more than one occasion. Puck did mind the crusade Kurt had been on lately. Everything was "when we get married" this, and "when we get married," that. Even though they hadn't been in a serious relationship since Adam. "Aren't you putting the cart before the horse a little, babe?" Puck asked, picking up his water glass and taking a sip. "I mean, what if he's ugly? Don't tell me you're desperate enough to make us marry an uggo."

Puck got elbowed as soon as he put down his glass. "Don't talk like that. You judge a book by it's cover and you're going to miss some perfectly wonderful stories."

"Keep making us go on blind dates and we're going to miss some perfectly tappable ass at the club," Puck countered, raising one eyebrow at his boyfriend.

Kurt scoffed, but his cheeks reddened. Puck couldn't help but lean over and kiss the skin to see if it felt as hot as it looked. It did. Kurt chuckled a little and leaned closer. Puck figured he was about to get a kiss, but then Kurt pushed him away and stood up. "Bryan?"

A guy who was admittedly good looking approached them, holding out his hand. "Kurt?" he asked as he shook Kurt's hand, leaning forward to press a kiss against Kurt's cheek, right over where Puck had kissed him. The gesture made Puck feel oddly jealous.

When Bryan turned to Puck, he stuck out his hand, which Puck took to be polite, but Bryan didn't try for a kiss to Puck's cheek. Shit. He must look too hostile or something. Puck put on his best charm smile and said, "It's great to meet you. And, I gotta tell you, that shirt really brings out your eyes."

It didn't.

Bryan looked down at his shirt as they all sat around the intimate table. "Really? Wow, thanks. Noah, was it?"

"Yeah," he said, not bothering to correct him. As far as this guy was concerned, Noah was fine. Puck liked his friends calling him by his nickname, but he couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone else called him.

After finding out that Bryan liked restoring old machines — mostly typewriters and clocks – that he didn't follow any sports teams, and that his favorite animal was the humpback whale, Puck decided he was officially bored. When Bryan went to the bathroom, he told Kurt as much.

"I think he's interesting. Can't you give it some time?"

Puck wanted to call this whole thing a waste of time, but he knew Kurt wouldn't take it well. Instead, he said, "Sorry, babe," and kissed Kurt on the temple. "I just miss him."

"I do, too," Kurt sighed, placing his hand over Puck's. "But he's not coming back. Do you really want to wait for something that's never going to happen? We'll never get married."

Puck bit his tongue before he told Kurt he was starting to rethink the whole marriage thing to begin with. Or at least the whole marriage-to-Kurt thing. Like, Puck loved Kurt more than anything, but the break up with Adam had done something to the relationship between him and Kurt and Puck didn't know how to fix it, besides going along with whatever Kurt wanted.

Puck's mom wasn't helping, either. Every time he talked to her, she encouraged him to find a broad couple to marry — preferably a Jewish one — so he could have kids. Like there weren't kids who he and Kurt could adopt if they really wanted them.

Later that night, while Puck got his dick sucked he watched Kurt pound away at Bryan's ass. Kurt kept looking up at Puck with this arch in his brow, like he was trying to prove something. He grinned at Puck and pulled him into a kiss. Puck had to think about Adam and the way he would smirk up at Puck before he could come.

 

~*~

A tickle on Kurt's ear woke him up, nagging him into moving his hand and scratching at the sensation. He brushed back a few strands of hair, but they blew back against his face almost immediately.

The skin along Kurt's back sweltered, sticking as he rolled away from the body behind him, knowing by the scent of the breath that the body wasn't Noah's, that the arms holding him belonged to a man he'd only met the night before.

Sitting up, Kurt noticed Puck sleeping on his stomach on the far side of the bed, legs haphazardly spread and headphones in his ears. Kurt almost circled the bed to go kiss him awake, but the headphones meant he'd had trouble falling asleep. If there was one thing Kurt didn't need, it was Noah short on sleep and short tempered. Kurt sneaked out of the room to go start some coffee and then visit the bathroom.

When he finished with both those chores, even taking the time to brush his teeth, both Noah and Bryan were still asleep. Resigning himself to a quiet morning alone, Kurt padded back to the kitchen and poured his coffee. He sat down in front of his laptop and began poking around just before someone knocked lightly on the door.

Confused, Kurt got up and checked the peephole, gasping in surprise when he saw who it was. Kurt threw open the door. "Finn!"

"Hey, Kurt!" Finn stepped into the apartment and threw his arms around Kurt, squeezing him in a tight hug. Kurt breathed in Finn's scent — still familiar even though it had been almost six years since they'd last lived together — and melted.

When Finn finally pulled back, Kurt asked, "What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were going to visit!"

"Well, your new place just looked so cool over FaceTime, I had to come check it out in person." Finn walked further into the front room as Kurt closed the door. "Where's Puck?"

"Still asleep," Kurt said, wincing to himself as he pictured Finn barging into the bedroom to wake Puck and finding Bryan there as well. "But, um, let's leave him be for a bit, okay? We were up really late, weren't expecting company."

Finn collapsed his long frame onto the couch and smirked at Kurt. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Kurt walked over to the kitchen side of the room and poured half a mug of coffee for Finn before drowning it in milk.

Finn accepted the coffee with a grateful nod. This close, Kurt noticed the dark circles under Finn's eyes. When he spoke, they almost disappeared into his smile. "You're blushing! What were you two doing up so late on a ... on a Friday night?"

Rubbing at the hot skin on his cheek, Kurt replied, "One of my coworkers introduced us. His name's Bryan."

"Is it serious?" Finn leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs and his eyes on Kurt.

How was Kurt supposed to respond to that? He'd only met Bryan the night before. He could admit that fact, but he knew it would make Finn think that Puck was being a bad influence on him. Really, it had been Kurt who suggested sex and Puck who went along with it, and Bryan who agreed. Maybe Kurt had been trying to recreate some of that feeling they'd had first with Blaine and then with Adam, but had been missing in their lives lately.

The whole sordid history of Finn and Puck's relationship played out in front of Kurt's eyes during high school. There was even a point, near the end of junior year, where Kurt feared he and Blaine would lose Puck back to Finn, since he'd been broken up with Rachel and back with Quinn at the time. Puck never did leave, and though Kurt had asked him once, after they moved to New York and broke up with Blaine, why not. Puck shrugged and gave a non-answer, so Kurt had to guess that it was more about how Quinn had treated him than about his feelings for Finn.

Kurt still didn't know how Finn really felt about Puck, besides considering him a close friend, even though they talked even less often than Kurt and Finn did. Did some of his bad attitude about Puck stem from the way they broke up? Did Finn still have feelings for Puck? Kurt knew the furthest his relationship with Finn had ever progressed was severe crush, and then step-brothers, but he still had certain feelings for Finn. In turn, Finn had never seen Kurt as a viable love interest.

After weighing his options, Kurt decided to say, "We'll see," and left things at that.

His goofiest grin tinged with something not-quite-right in his eyes, Finn said, "Well, I'm glad my favorite step-brother is happy."

Kurt wasn't so sure he'd label himself as happy. Maybe somewhat content in a still-restless way, but he didn't tell Finn that. "Don't let Dave hear you talking like that."

Finn laughed. "God, I can't believe the wedding was almost five years ago already. Tell me again how you convinced Puck to wear that tux?"

Face hot again, Kurt replied, "That's none of your business. I'm just glad he and David didn't come to blows during the reception."

"I was more worried about Adam and Blaine, to be honest." Finn gave Kurt a half smile. "I still haven't forgiven Sam and Tina for bringing Blaine to the wedding when Brittany got sick."

Kurt smiled. "You know, I'm pretty sure Tina had a crush on Blaine."

"Oh, she definitely did." Finn chuckled. "Not only that, but I got to see the fallout of your breakup with him up close and personal."

"Sorry about that," Kurt said with a wince. "But after he cheated, I didn't trust Blaine anymore. And Puck was _so_ mad. We had to break up with him."

Finn's eyes dropped to the cup in his hand. "Yeah, no, man. I get it."

While Kurt certainly wouldn't put it past Finn to take an impromptu cross-country trip, it made him curious. "So, how're things—"

"Hey, Kurt? You got a—" Bryan said as he came into the room, thankfully dressed except for his socks. He stopped short when he saw Finn. "Oh, shit, man. Is this your guys' boyfriend? Marcy said you were coupled."

"Relax, Bryan." Kurt gestured for the guy to lower his intensity. Then Kurt stood up and went for the coffee maker. "This is my step-brother, Finn. Finn, Bryan."

"Kinda early in the morning for a family visit, huh?" Bryan sat down without being offered a seat, though he did thank Kurt when Kurt handed him a cup of coffee.

"What can I say?" Finn shrugged. "Still on East Coast time and I couldn't wait any longer."

"I wish my sisters loved me that much. Mostly they can't wait to get rid of me!" Bryan grinned and sat back in his chair, his khakis squeaking on the chair beneath him.

Puck wandered into the kitchen, still looking mostly asleep and wearing nothing but the pair of sweatpants he'd worn to sleep in. Kurt watched both Bryan's and Finn's eyes follow Puck's bare chest as he stumbled to the coffee pot.

After Puck's first sip — Kurt knew better than to interrupt him before — Kurt cleared his throat loudly. Puck looked up at him and Kurt nodded his head over to Finn.

Eyes widening, Puck startled, almost spilling his coffee, but saving it in the nick of time. "Whoa, Finn? What are you doing here, man?" Puck abandoned his cup on the kitchen counter and met Finn with a tight hug.

Finn slapped Puck on the shoulder a few times as the hug ended. "Just decided to come surprise you guys for the weekend!"

Bryan distracted Kurt from the rest of Finn and Puck's greetings by asking, "Hey, would you mind if I used your shower?"

Kurt did mind a little bit, because he couldn't think of a polite way to insist Bryan use Puck's bargain products (which Kurt still hadn't been able to break him of using) instead of Kurt's very expensive things. "Sure. Let me find you a clean towel."

When Kurt finished showing Bryan around, he headed back toward the living area. Finn asked, "So what was your boyfriend's name again? Kurt told me, but I forgot."

"Don't worry about it." Puck's response made Kurt freeze in the hallway just before putting himself in sight. "He's nothing serious. Just for fun. Hell, I won't remember his name by next week."

Kurt's heart dropped. He knew they'd been on a run of unsuccessful dates, but he'd really thought Puck was giving each of the men they dated a fair trial. That the lovely man in their shower, who admittedly maybe wasn't for them, didn't even deserve Puck remembering his name? Kurt felt sick.

"Puck," Finn said in a low, admonishing tone. "Kurt seemed hopeful about him. What are you doing?"

"Fuck if I know. What're you doing living with our old teacher?"

"Puck."

"I'm just sayin'!"

Kurt hurried out into the room before somebody decided to throw a punch — though, it had been almost nine years since the last time Finn and Puck came to blows. Maybe they'd outgrown it.

"So! What does everyone want to do today? I know my agenda of laundry and grocery shopping is much less appealing now that Finn is here."

One corner of Finn's mouth pulled up. "You'd abandon your Saturday plans for me?" His eyes cut toward the bathroom.

"No plans to abandon," Puck insisted, hand gently circling Kurt's wrist and guiding Kurt down into his lap.

Surprised by the display of affection, given the way he found Puck sleeping with his earbuds in, Kurt put his arm around Puck and snuggled in as close as he could get. It was easier said than done, especially on their vintage flea market chairs and because Kurt was nearly the same size as Puck. Still, Kurt rubbed his jaw against Puck's temple before kissing there. It felt reassuring in a way not much had been since their move to LA.

"Well, I could take you guys out to breakfast or something," Finn offered, his eyes watching as Kurt twined his fingers with Puck's. "I kinda haven't eaten for awhile."

Frowning, Kurt asked, "How long is awhile?"

"Lunch yesterday?"

Behind Kurt, Puck scoffed, and Kurt's cry of distress followed. "Finn! You have to eat!"

"Well, I was too busy moving out!" Finn took a sharp breath and dropped his eyes down to his lap.

"Finn?" Puck asked, his arm around Kurt's waist tightening. "Dude?"

His voice soft and oddly blasé, Finn said, "They wanted to get married."

"Oh, Finn." Kurt leaned forward and put his hand on Finn's elbow.

"It's fine," Finn said with a pasted-on grin. He patted Kurt's hand and then pulled away, standing up and circling around to the coffee pot.

When Kurt looked back at him, he found Puck had pulled his brows into a tight furrow. Kurt met Puck's eyes and then flicked his gaze to the couch (hunter green, and inexpensive enough for Kurt to agree to that color) across the room. Puck nodded.

"Hey, dude. You wanna crash on our couch for awhile?"

Nodding, Finn said, "For a few days. I wanna—" He looked down for a moment before practically rocketing out of his chair. "I wanna live somewhere other than Ohio, you know? I wanna know what's all out here."

The cynical corner of Kurt's brain wanted to tell Finn that one place was just about the same as any other, just further away from the people you loved. However, this stray thought was subsumed by the knowledge that certain places — like New York, and now LA — nurtured freedom of expression. And other places didn't. Hell, Finn hadn't even left Lima to go to college. "I think maybe it's about time you saw the world. Any ideas where you want to start?"

"Here in LA sounds good." Finn circled back around and rested his hands on the back of his just-vacated chair. Leaning forward enthusiastically, Finn gave his most genuine smile of the morning and asked, "If me invading your town for awhile is cool with you?"

Since Finn seemed to imply he wouldn't be _staying_ with Kurt and Puck for that while, Kurt didn't see how his presence in town would be a problem. When Kurt looked back at Puck, he shrugged. "'S cool with me."

"Me too," Kurt agreed, giving Finn an encouraging smile. "What do you think you'll do out here?"

"I'll tell you over breakfast." Finn quirked one eyebrow up overdramatically and Kurt couldn't help but laugh, Puck's arm around his belly bouncing as he did.

 

~*~

The awkward dance of getting that Bryan guy to leave as soon as possible without being rude made Finn wish that he'd called ahead, at least. He guessed he'd figured that everyone in the entire world liked surprises more than Emma, so he actually had the opportunity to pull one off. Of course it would backfire on him. Everything backfired on Finn. Always.

Finn let Kurt drive them to a restaurant not too far from their apartment. It was weird, sitting in the far passenger seat, with Puck between him and Kurt. When he visited them in New York — before and during their time with Adam — the only driving had been in a taxi home one night. Otherwise it was the subway or bus. And in Lima, Kurt and Puck hadn't been together very long before they started dating Blaine. Plus, Finn had been pissed at Puck for most of that time, so this was probably the first time the three of them had been alone in a car together.

It made him feel calm, like everything else could fade away. It made it easier to push away the thought that even though Finn's note asked them not to call, neither Will nor Emma had even tried to contact him. Things were really over. The restaurant was actually this coffee shop, which happened to have a full kitchen and tiny, rickety triangular tables. Each table sat three people, barely. Finn knew it looked like he was on a date with Kurt and Puck. In Lima he might have cared, but out here in LA, he didn't.

When the food eventually came, Finn had to balance his plate of hashbrowns in his lap while he ate his omelette, but ultimately, the food was worth it. "Oh, my god. You guys, I think this omelette and I need to be alone."

Puck snorted and Kurt rolled his eyes. It felt like the first normal reaction from either of them that whole morning. "I think there's laws against that, Finn." Kurt shoveled a big bite of his quiche thing into his mouth, like he was almost as hungry as Finn.

"With food?" Puck asked. He gleefully crunched into his bacon. "Nah. 'Member that time we...with the whipped cream and all those gummy bears?"

Kurt didn't acknowledge Puck's words, just kept eating calmly. However, Kurt's face went so red it looked like he might explode.

When Finn's face began to ache, he realized it was because he'd been smiling for several minutes straight. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened. Finn held out his fist for Puck just under the table, and Puck bumped easily it without needing more than a glance downward.

"Unspeakable acts with food aside," Kurt said, picking up half of his english muffin and spreading jam on it, "what would you like to see while you're here, Finn?"

Finn shrugged. "I don't know. What does a young, recently single and unemployed man do for fun in this city?"

Kurt and Puck shared a brief, concerned look, and Finn realized he hadn't yet mentioned quitting his job. Finn cleared his throat. "Well, it's not like I can take time off in the middle of the term with no notice. I'm sure I'll find a new job once I decide where to end up."

"Yeah, totally," Puck said with a nod, patting Finn's shoulder with one heavy hand. "In the meantime, Kurt and I can show you around. There's a few clubs we've been into since we moved here."

" _You've_ been into," Finn heard Kurt say under his breath, avoiding Puck's annoyed frown. Kurt stuck most of the english muffin in his mouth.

"Whatever. They're fun places. Some dating bars, some clubs that my band has played. What're you in the mood for? What kinds of people do you want to meet?"

"Honestly?" Finn turned his coffee mug around in a full circle before answering. "I was kinda just hoping to spend some time with you guys. Maybe see a palm tree. Or the ocean. But going to a club later sounds fun!" Finn hoped his enthusiasm didn't sound too forced. He knew it was important to get back up on the horse right after falling off. Everyone in Finn's life seemed to think that spending time alone wasn't good for a person. If they all thought that, it had to be true, right?

"We'll do both," Kurt said, finally looking over at Puck. Someone's foot ran into Finn's and since no one apologized, he figured he was the innocent bystander in a deliberate kick. Neither Kurt or Puck gave the other a look, so Finn ignored whatever was going on between them.

Finn also ignored the way their little snipes and looks and kicks worried him. Their relationship wasn't really his business. And it _wasn't_ like with Finn and Will and Emma. Kurt and Puck were meant to be together, _forever_. They probably just needed a third.

Hey, when they went out to the club, Finn could totally help Kurt and Puck find a really great third. Maybe even the love of their lives!

 

~*~

Puck danced sometimes, but he wasn’t as into it as Kurt – or even Finn for that matter – so he stood at the bar, sipping his drink and checking out the talent. There were actually a fair number of single, and even paired-up, women at _Rain_ that night. Puck figured Finn would probably have a good time with the available options, but Puck felt a strike-out night was bound to happen for him and Kurt. Puck figured they’d gotten laid the night before, so it wasn’t a big deal if he and Kurt just went home with each other.

One of the couples caught his eye, and Puck had a good time looking at the one girl’s smile and hair, and the way the other one moved, her curves filling out her dress just right. It had been forever and a day since he’d been with a chick. Most of the time, Puck didn’t care so much. He’d made promises to Kurt that he intended to keep. It was just sometimes, in moments like this when he saw someone and imagined how his life _could_ be that Puck had the fleeting urge to fuck it all up.

“Hey,” said a girl from Puck’s side. He looked over and saw that she wore shorts and a sparkly blouse that dipped dangerously low in front. “You don’t wanna dance?”

“Takin’ a breather,” he told her, winking before he could stop himself. “Sorry, though, baby. My boyfriend’s gay. No chicks allowed on the dance card.”

She looked Puck up and down with a little frown on her face. “Hmm, that’s a shame. Which one is he?”

Puck pointed into the crowd. “Thin one with the tight-ass pants and the elf-ears.”

“What a cutie!” she said. “You been together long?”

“Eight fuckin’ years,” Puck replied, taking another sip of his beer. “Can you believe that?”

She laughed. “What, did you start dating when he was in grade school?”

“We’re the same age!” Puck cried in a mock-offended voice. “High school, actually. He hasn't been able to get rid of me yet."

"Lucky boy." She smirked at Puck before giving him a little wave and moving on. Puck watched her ass as she went, trying not to think about how she might feel.

Finn leaned against the bar beside Puck and flagged down the bartender, ordering another beer.

"How many is that, dude?" Puck asked, noticing the way Finn's eyelids drooped. "Goin' wild?"

Nodding, Finn said, "Will always seemed to think drinking was the worst thing ever. I've been going without for two damn years. Just got some catchin' up to do!"

Puck watched Finn head back into the crowd, heading straight for the two girls Puck had already scoped out. Finn struck up a conversation while doing the dorkiest dance known to man, and the girls just ate it up.

"Hey, baby," Kurt said as he bounded into Puck's personal space, all hot and damp from dancing. "You okay over here?"

Emptying his drink, Puck set the glass on the bar and wove his arms around Kurt. "Yeah, I'm good. Got my best boyfriend and my best bud here with me tonight. It's all good."

Kurt gave Puck a half smile and a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Puck asked, pulling Kurt in closer.

"Your _best_ boyfriend, huh?" Kurt asked, nudging Puck with his hip. "You stepping out on me, Puckerman?"

"Nah," Puck replied with a vigorous shake of his head. A voice in his mind taunted, _Not yet_. Puck shoved the voice away and pressed his nose to the sweaty, familiar scent on Kurt's neck. "Love ya, babe."

"Love you, too," Kurt replied, actually taking the time to meet Puck's eye and hold it. Then Kurt turned and leaned back against Puck, facing Finn. "You think he's got a shot with those girls?"

"Maybe," Puck lied. He saw the way the shorter one's interest already started to wane, her eyes drifting off toward the crowd. Before Puck could go rescue Finn, the short one pulled the tall one away, leaving Finn gaping after them.

When Finn looked around, Puck turned his face against Kurt's neck, not wanting Finn to catch him watching and get embarrassed or something. Kurt must have taken the action as more of an invitation than Puck intended, because he pressed himself further against Puck and asked, "Dance with me?"

Puck took Kurt's hips in his hands and pulled Kurt onto the dance floor with a smirk on his lips. They had Finn staying with them, so he and Kurt couldn't have a sex-guest over tonight. Maybe they could get a number or two instead.

The beat pulsed through Puck's body, thrumming in his blood and catching at the back of his throat. Kurt felt hot and humid against him, but in such a familiar way that Puck leaned into it. He let the rhythm weave him closer to Kurt than he'd felt in a long time.

"Easy," Kurt drawled in Puck's ear. "We wouldn't want to get in trouble."

"Some of us like getting in trouble," Puck replied, but he gave Kurt an inch or two more room.

Puck scanned the crowd around them, but nobody really stood out to him, except Finn. He saw Finn taking with a guy-girl couple, and then a guy, and then a girl. Puck always saw Finn with a drink in hand.

The hour grew late and Puck had just started looking for where Kurt had run off to when Finn found him. Finn had half a beer in one hand and his bottom lip stuck out just far enough that he looked a little bit like a disappointed child. "Puck."

"What's up, Finn?"

"I don't–" Finn sniffled and leaned his forehead down against Puck's shoulder. Murmuring, Finn continued. "I don't know what I'm doing here. No one _sane_ actually wants me."

Curling his arm around Finn's back, Puck replied, "Well, _that's_ just not true."

"No," Finn argued, shaking his head and pushing Puck away with one sloppy arm. "No, it _is_ true. Will and Emma weren't exactly pictures of mental health. Rachel, before them. And Jesse. Quinn. The only sane one was _you_ , and that got all fucked up." Finn looked away, his voice trailing off as he listed to the side.

Puck clenched his jaw at Finn, but didn't answer him right away. He tried to think of the best thing to say – of the best way to build Finn back up again – but not enough came to mind. It had been so long since Puck knew the exact words which would cheer up Finn.

"Finn, buddy. It's– it's okay. You'll find the people you're supposed to be with." At this point, Puck was starting to doubt the assumption that there was a triad out there for everyone. Maybe he and Kurt would always live as a couple, unmarried for the rest of their lives. Maybe Puck would grow to feel okay with that.

Finn opened his mouth like he was going to reply, but then snapped it shut, his eyes widening. "I'm gonna be sick," he mumbled, lurching away from Puck toward the bathroom.

Shit. If Finn was puking, it wouldn't be long before he passed out cold. Puck would just have to find Kurt and get both of them home before that happened.

 

~*~

 

With Kurt’s help, Puck got Finn back into the apartment, despite Finn being barely conscious. “Let’s put him on the sofa,” Puck told Kurt, angling the half of Finn’s body he was holding up toward that end of the apartment.

“No.” Kurt pulled Finn the other way, making Finn give a pathetic moan in protest. “He won’t fit on the couch. Let’s– Oh, shit.”

“What?” Puck rearranged Finn’s arm over his shoulder, just about ready to dump him on the entryway floor and call it good.

Kurt sighed. “I washed the guest room sheets and I forgot to put them in the dryer. They’re soaked.”

“Then let’s just put him in our bed,” Puck replied. “I changed those sheets this morning while you were in the shower.”

Kurt looked across Finn and gave Puck this incredulous look, the one which Puck had come to learn meant Kurt was surprised and also suspicious of his motives. Not that Puck could blame him. Puck almost never changed the sheets, and hated doing it when Kurt asked him to take care of it.

“I didn’t like Bryan’s cologne, okay?” Puck muttered, moving forward, regardless of whether Kurt was ready to help or not. Finn’s body only lagged half a step behind before Kurt caught up with Puck.

“So I take it Bryan’s not going to work out either, huh?” Kurt’s voice sounded flat, and Puck’s heart dropped. Puck had disappointed enough people in his life, he knew what it sounded like.

“Like you actually liked that asswipe.” Puck scoffed. “Next time, I’m picking our third.”

As they got into the bedroom and dumped Finn onto the bed, Kurt fell oddly silent. Not that he was a chatterbox, by any means, but Puck had grown accustomed to Kurt voicing his opinion as often as he had one – and Kurt not having an opinion was a rare event.

Finn groaned and Puck studied Kurt’s face as he helped Kurt remove Finn’s shoes so he could sleep without them. As they worked, Kurt’s brows drew closer together and his lip jutted further and further out. “What are you thinking?” Puck asked.

Face opening up with surprise, Kurt shook his head. “Nothing,” he said as he started pulling the bedclothes out from underneath Finn.

“No, c’mon, babe. Don’t do that.” Puck didn’t want to go, but the moment Kurt stopped talking to him about the important shit, it would be time.

Kurt stuck out his chin as he finished covering Finn’s sleeping frame with the blankets and shoved a few extra pillows behind Finn’s back to prop him up on his side. “Not here. The other room.”

Puck let out a relieved breath and nodded. “Okay.”

As soon as Puck closed the bedroom door and followed Kurt out to the living room, he asked, “What?”

“It’s–“ Kurt shook his head and sighed again, dropping down onto the couch. He gestured for Puck to join him, so Puck did. When Kurt began to speak, he kept his voice so low, Puck could barely hear him. “I was just thinking that—it’s stupid really—that Finn looks better in our bed than Bryan did this morning.”

A sharp lance of possibility rushed through Puck’s body. “You mean, like, as our _third_ , right?”

“Sort of?” Kurt winced. “But he’s my step brother and your best friend. And he _just_ got out of a long-term relationship. I shouldn’t be thinking–“

“About boning his drunk ass?” Puck asked with a smirk, grabbing Kurt around his waist and pulling him closer. Dropping his voice, Puck murmured in Kurt’s ear, “I bet he’s a better lay now than he was in high school. Even then, he was awesome. Very eager.”

Kurt shivered. “Noah.”

Puck watched the hairs on Kurt’s arm stand up, and the sight of his words affecting Kurt so easily made Puck grin and preen. He couldn’t help but admit to himself that he was probably just as much into the fantasy as Kurt. Maybe more so. “Don’t you wish we had someone we could trust? Someone we could hold onto forever?”

“You know I do,” Kurt replied in a rush, leaning back on the couch and pulling Puck on top of him. “God, Puck. He’s so tall. Taller than Adam.”

“Adam was half an inch taller than you and me, babe,” Puck said with a laugh, settling his knees on either side of Kurt’s thighs and pressing his weight down onto Kurt. “But tall really does it for you, huh?”

“Shut up.” Kurt pulled Puck’s head down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Puck knew this wasn’t anything more than talk. Kurt was right. Finn didn’t need them to bug him about being in a relationship. He needed Puck and Kurt to be his friends – his brothers. Puck only had the one brother, but he was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to fantasize about your brother. Even if you were only brothers because of a marriage or because your promise to marry each other fell through when Quinn got pregnant.

And yet…

Pulling back, Puck murmured against Kurt’s mouth, “You think if you fucked me and he fucked you, he’d be tall enough to kiss me over your shoulder?”

Kurt groaned and rutted his erection up against Puck’s. “Yeah. I bet he could.”

“I taught Finn everything I knew about kissing,” Puck told Kurt. “He knows how to do that thing you like, with the tongue.” Puck demonstrated by pressing his lips against Kurt’s again and easing his tongue into Kurt’s mouth. Puck caressed the underside of Kurt’s tongue with just enough pressure that the contact wouldn’t tickle. Kurt groaned.

Puck tore off his own shirt and stood up off the couch so he could undo his pants. “We’re doing it now.”

“Yeah,” Kurt agreed, panting as he shoved his shirt over his head. He threw it away and then pushed his pants down, getting them halfway before he paused, looking up at Puck. “What if Finn wakes up? He’ll see us.”

“He’s not waking up,” Puck assured Kurt, his eyes appreciating the fit of Kurt’s red briefs. “And even if he does–“ Puck dropped his pants and leaned down toward Kurt, smirking at him. “Even if he does, maybe he’ll like what he sees.”

Kurt swallowed visibly, but he only paused for a moment before sharply nodding his head. Pointing toward the living room desk, Kurt said, “Grab the lube.”

Puck grinned and made his way over there, hopping on one foot, then the other as he took off his socks. He grabbed the lube and rushed back to where Kurt was settling one of the throw blankets underneath himself. As Puck straddled Kurt’s thighs and handed him the lube, Kurt cast a longing glance toward the bedroom.

“We could go fuck in there,” Puck suggested, even though he wasn’t sure he’d go through with it if Kurt agreed. Puck couldn’t quite be sure if Finn would react in any of the several ways Puck would be okay with, or if he’d call it the last straw and never talk to Puck again.

Running his hands down Puck’s sides and around the small of his back, Kurt shook his head. “If Finn were watching us, I’d want him to be sober.”

“Yeah?” Puck asked, scooting forward so Kurt could reach his hole more easily. Kurt reached back and teased Puck; he never got to the point right away, even when Puck begged him. “We wouldn’t want him to miss anything, now would we?”

“We _are_ performers.” Kurt chuckled and dipped in the tip of one finger before pulling it out again, teasing around Puck’s entrance. “You and me, honey. We’d put on a show. Finn’s eyes would be all dark, watching us. Wanting us.”

Puck shivered and rutted downward, pushing his cock against Kurt’s. The friction wasn’t great, because there wasn’t yet enough sweat, and neither of their cocks had been lubed, but the contact, mixed with Kurt teasing his ass, made Puck shudder. Yeah, okay, some of Puck’s excitement probably came from Kurt talking about Finn. “Fuck.”

“You’ve never really talked about him much,” Kurt whispered, rocking his hips upward and using one arm to hold Puck close while the other hand moved one finger in and out of Puck’s ass. “What you two used to do together. What he liked. I kind of always assumed you’d both focused on Quinn.”

“Nuh-uh,” Puck replied, driving back against Kurt’s finger and bearing down on it, willing his body to open up. “F-fuck, Kurt. We used to do _everything_ together. He was,” Puck paused to catch his breath, “my first for _everything_. Just these two skinny-assed teenagers fucking each other’s brains out after school every day.”

Kurt took his hand away and went still. Looking down, Puck raised his eyebrow in question. “I never had a friend like that,” Kurt said, pushing up onto his elbows. “I was too– Most of my friends were girls. No one wanted to be fuck buddies with a gay boy like me.”

“Until Blaine,” Puck pointed out, not bothering to hide his frown.

“Yeah.” Kurt sighed, laying back and putting his arms around Puck again. “I had such a crush on Finn, though. I’d watch you two kiss at school and pretend I was you.”

Puck laughed, using one of his hands to nudge Kurt’s fingers back where he wanted them. “Maybe if you’d been Captain of the Cheerios back then, Finn and I would have dated you.”

“You wouldn’t have.” Kurt pushed three fingers into Puck, slowly but steadily, his eyes studying Puck’s face. Puck took a deep breath and let it out as he relaxed, allowing Kurt in. “You and– You and Finn were obsessed with image back then. You wouldn’t’ve dated a loser like me.”

Pushing himself back onto Kurt’s fingers, Puck hummed a few bars of their old glee song. Kurt laughed and smacked Puck’s back with his free hand.

After he got used to Kurt’s fingers, Puck admitted, “Yeah, we were always talking about the girl we were gonna marry. What she’d be like. Could you imagine it? A homo triad back in Lima in 2010? Almost _no one_ thought that way.”

“And now look at you.” Kurt grinned, his voice breathy as he pulled his fingers from Puck’s ass and reached for the lube. Puck groaned low in his throat as he lowered himself down onto Kurt's cock. "Oh, fuck, baby." There was just the right amount of stretch, just the right amount of friction, and Puck wondered if Finn would still know where that point lay. He was the one who helped Puck discover it, after all.

Rocking his hips in tiny motions as Kurt bottomed out in him, Puck said, "Finn doesn't like to bottom very often, but when he does, holy shit."

Kurt released his bottom lip from between his teeth. "Yeah?"

"Takes _hours_ to get him prepped and fucked until he comes. _Hours_. But, god–" Puck rose up until Kurt almost slipped out of him, and then sat back down. "–those hours are worth the fucking wait!"

"D'you think," Kurt said, driving his hips up on Puck's next fall, "it would take less time with two of us working on him?"

"Probably." Puck's hips stuttered at the image, his cock leaping as he grabbed it and began stroking. "It'd definitely go faster if he was in the middle. Guy _loves_ getting his dick wet."

Kurt licked his lips and drove up into Puck again, hitting Puck's prostate three times in quick succession. Fire licked through Puck's veins, his whole body starting to coil for its release.

"C'mon, honey," Kurt whispered, setting an even, if vigorous pace. Puck had no idea how Kurt had the strength left in his thighs and hips after dancing all night, but he'd learned long ago not to question these things about Kurt. Just when Puck forgot and began to underestimate Kurt, he pulled out a move like this, meeting Puck thrust for thrust. "Show me how you'd come if Finn were watching us right now."

Puck imagined Finn stumbling through the hallway and into the room, seeing him on Kurt's dick like this. Maybe Finn would even realize he wanted Puck again. All it took was a brush of his own hand and Puck came hard, writhing and collapsing down onto Kurt's chest, squishing the come between them. Kurt thrust a dozen or so times more, chasing his own release. Finally he pushed into Puck one last time and held it, hips up and hands pulling Puck down onto him.

Puck watched Kurt's face as it melted away from effort into bliss. Puck wondered if Kurt came as hard as he did, thinking about Finn. He didn't ask the question out loud, though. The moment was gone. In the morning, it would be clear just how uninterested Finn was. Unless…

Unless Puck made the effort to convince him. Puck used to be great at sweet-talking Finn into doing things he didn't know he needed, or never would have thought of on his own. The time Puck dared Finn to ding-dong-ditch half the neighborhood sprang to mind.

Puck gave Kurt one last kiss before pulling away and tugging his clothes back on. It was one thing to tempt fate while in the middle of some hot action, but another to walk around naked when he and Kurt had a guest. Besides, when Finn needed to be convinced to do something, the approach had to be subtle. Otherwise he'd figure out what was going on and the backlash would be brutal.

As Kurt pulled on his shirt, he told Puck, "The guest room sheets are still wet, and I don't think the couch can hold both of us. D'you think Finn would mind if we just crashed on our bed with him? It's more than big enough for three."

Puck heard the siren song of the bed calling out to him, drawing him into it after a long day of being with Finn. "Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be okay."

Kurt smiled and put his arm around Puck's waist as they walked back through the hallway and toward the bedroom. As Puck stretched out above the covers they'd buried Finn under (but with a blanket for himself) and curled up to sleep.

 

~*~

As Finn woke up, he vaguely remembered going out drinking. He had no idea where he was now, though. When he breathed in, his surroundings smelled familiar, but not like home.

Oh, that was right, he didn’t have a home anymore. Finn had moved out.

Finn had moved out, yet it felt like he wasn’t alone in the bed. Nope, he definitely heard other people breathing, and a ribcage expanding against his back as its owner breathed in. Had Finn gone back home without remembering it?

But no, he wasn’t in Lima anymore. He’d taken a plane, several planes in fact, and traveled all the way to LA to visit Puck and Kurt.

When Finn opened his eyes, the room was dark, and he couldn’t quite make out where he was. Had he gotten drunk enough to do something stupid? Was this a one night stand? Finn hadn’t ever thought he was the kind of person who would sleep with strangers. He _liked_ getting to know people first. He _liked_ having that connection before getting naked.

Speaking of naked, Finn was wearing a shirt, and—he slid one hand down below his waist—jeans. What sort of person puts their jeans back on after a one night stand? The cat’s already out of the bag, so to speak. Confused, Finn lifted his head and looked around more. As his brain started to make out shapes, Finn realized that the body behind him was very familiar.

It was Puck. The little whistling his nose made as he breathed really should have tipped Finn off earlier. Now that he knew where he was, Finn recognized Kurt’s hair on the man sleeping on his other side. Finn couldn’t tell how much clothing either Puck or Kurt was wearing, but if Finn was in his jeans, that meant nothing had happened.

But then Finn imagined what it might have been like if something had happened. He imagined staying here, between Kurt and Puck, forever. Finn imagined waking up with them every morning. He imagined getting to spend all day, every day with them. He imagined watching movies on their couch, and making dinner in their kitchen, tripping all over each other.

Finn imagined making love in this bed. Would Puck be the same as when they were kids, or would his technique have matured along with his body? What would Kurt be like? Puck hadn’t told him much about what Kurt was like in bed, even though he’d said a lot about Blaine, and then Adam. Finn always thought Puck’s silence had been because he assumed Finn wouldn’t want to hear those details about his stepbrother.

But Kurt didn’t feel like a brother. Not really. When they started Glee together, Kurt was just a kid at school. Then he was a friend, then a good friend. When their parents moved in together, he felt more like a roommate than a brother. Not that Finn had ever had a brother, but Puck had one, and Finn sort of understood what the relationship was like from Puck and Jake’s interactions. Finn liked Kurt way more than Puck liked Jake, that was for sure.

So being in a relationship with Kurt? That wasn’t so much of a stretch as Finn had always assumed it might be.

Of course, what would their parents think? Finn’s mom would be so disappointed in him, if he didn’t end up in a traditional marriage. She’d always talked about when Finn found the mother of his children, and how happy he would be. Looking back, though, Finn thought maybe she didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. After one of Finn’s dads died and the other one split, Carole Hudson had spent most of her adult life single.

What if Finn could be in an all-male relationship? Sure, he liked girls. He liked them a lot. But he hadn’t really missed it too much, not being able to have sex with Emma. If Finn was in a relationship with two of his closest friends, maybe it could actually work.

Just as Finn was starting to believe it might work out, he realized something – he’d already been in a relationship with Puck and it hadn’t worked out, and besides his obvious crush in high school, Kurt hadn’t shown any indication that he liked Finn as anything other than a brother. Finn was being stupid, thinking he could have a relationship that didn’t exist.

Finn was too damaged, too stupid, to be any good for them. He’d just get in the middle and ruin their relationship. It didn’t take a genius to know that their relationship wasn’t quite what it had been while they were in New York. The little looks, and the weird tension Finn had felt all day meant that something wasn’t right, and Finn would really be an idiot to think that he could be the one to fix it.

So Finn very slowly and very carefully, slid down the bed so he could leave it without disturbing either of them. As he moved, pain lanced through his skull and Finn’s stomach felt like it was full of battery acid. God, Will had been right. Finn couldn’t be trusted drinking on his own. He’d never had a hangover like this while Will had been taking care of him.

Finn couldn’t be in a relationship, in a _real_ relationship, until he learned how to take care of himself. He couldn’t do that with anyone else around.

Tiptoeing through the apartment, Finn contemplated leaving without even using the bathroom, but his bladder protested at that thought. So, he used the toilet, drank some water from the tap, gathered his things, and left a note on the kitchen table as quietly possible.

When Finn opened the front door, he paused looking back at the hallway that led to the bedroom. He opened his mouth, but then stopped himself from calling out for someone to come change his mind. Finn shouldn’t change his mind, as much as he might want to. He was just holding onto false hope. He was just rebounding, latching onto the first people who showed him comfort after he broke up with Will and Emma.

Finn wouldn’t do himself – or Kurt and Puck for that matter – any favors by staying and trying to convince them to date him. They didn’t want him, or they would have said something when they took him out to the club.

Finn had to stop being stupid about his life. Leaving Lima was supposed to be the start of a new life, not a repeat of the old one. So, he left.

Finn left the apartment, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He then rushed away from their door, terrified of being caught in the act of running away.

As soon as he got out of their building and a few blocks away, Finn began to breathe a little easier. What a disaster he’d so narrowly escaped. Sure in time that Kurt and Puck would forgive him for leaving his visit early, Finn called a cab company. Just like Lima, LA felt a little too claustrophobic at the moment. Best to leave town while he could.

 

~*~

When Kurt woke up, he was on Puck's side of the bed, his arm and leg flung across the empty middle of the bed. Puck lay over on Kurt's side of the bed, head tilted back off the top of his pillow and breath catching in his throat every few inhales.

Kurt wondered why Puck was sleeping so far away, but then he remembered that there was supposed to be someone between them.

"Finn?" Kurt called out quietly as he stood up, blinking in the late morning sun that crested over the curtains in the east-facing window. Puck didn't stir, so Kurt slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him before calling out again. "Finn?"

There was no answer. The bathroom was empty. So was the living room. And the kitchen, except there was a new note stuck under the “Big Apple” magnet on the fridge.

Hands shaking a little with dread, Kurt reached out and pulled the note down. It said, in Finn’s big block writing, “Had to leave early. Sorry. I’ll call soon. Finn.”

Mumbling to himself, Kurt said, “’Had to leave early’? What the hell, Finn?”

And then it hit him. Finn was gone. Finn left without even saying goodbye. Everything Kurt and Puck talked about last night was never going to happen. All because Kurt stupidly suggested he and Puck crash on the bed next to Finn, instead of giving him his space. Of course Finn freaked out. He didn’t want to be with them, especially not with Kurt. Finn wanted a normal life, and Kurt was the abnormal one in this relationship.

Puck’s feet slapped against the hardwood floor in the hallway and he came into the kitchen with eyes wider than Kurt had ever seen them in the morning. “Finn?”

“Gone,” Kurt replied, handing him the note. “We were just dreaming last night.”

“We _weren’t_ ,” Puck insisted, frowning at the note. He folded it in half and ripped it apart. “Finn’s just messed up right now. He doesn’t know he needs us.”

“Isn’t it up to him to figure that out?” Kurt took the pieces out of Puck’s hands and set them on the kitchen table before he could shred them to pieces. Taking Puck’s hand, Kurt told him, “We can’t force Finn to be with us. None of us would want that.”

“Yeah, but we could give him a place to stay while he figures it out.”

Kurt sighed. He still wasn’t sure about Puck’s point, but he felt too sad and too tired to argue it. “Call him, if you want him to come back so much.”

“He won’t answer,” Puck insisted, pacing across the room and then back again. “We have to go after him. We have to find him before he leaves town.”

Shaking his head, Kurt sighed again. “It’s never going to work. We won’t catch him.”

Letting out a sharp huff of breath through his nose, Puck wrapped one hand around Kurt's wrist. "We'll never be happy unless we try. I can't keep doing this, Kurt."

Edges of his eyes stinging, Kurt didn't want to ask the question, but he had to. "Doing what?"

"Looking for the one person in the world we can agree on, when he was sleeping in our bed this morning." Puck's voice rose as he spoke and he tightened his grip on Kurt's wrist before letting go completely and stepping back. "We're _never_ going to find a third as perfect for us as Finn."

"I've been _trying_." Kurt clenched his fists at his sides. " _You're_ the one making this so damn complicated. Maybe I should've gone to London. Adam wasn't nearly as picky about men as you are."

His face curiously blank, Puck nodded. He swung his arms at his sides and took a few steps away from Kurt as he said in an even voice, "And I should've listened to my mother when she told me I'd never be happy with you."

Kurt gasped. The last eight years of his life ran through his head, all of it with Puck at his side. Puck had been his constant for so long, Kurt couldn't imagine any of it without him. "You've had doubts?" he asked, a tear falling from his eye. "This whole time?"

Puck looked down at his hands and shrugged one shoulder. "Not really. Just this last year."

Kurt's stomach lurched and he felt like he was going to be sick. "Oh, my god. Are you breaking up with me?"

"No." Puck told Kurt. "I probably should, but I'm not. Though, if you don't help me find Finn, I can't make any promises."

Clenching his jaw, Kurt frowned at Puck. "That's unfair. If I don't go on this wild goose chase after a man who we have no chance with, you'll break up with me."

"I don't care that I'm being a dick." Puck stepped over to the closet and kicked his shoes out into the hallway and shoving his feet into them. "But I don't want to resent you for this, so would you _please_ just play along. For me?"

As much as Kurt resented being forced into this fool's errand, he could understand doing this one thing for Puck's benefit. Puck didn't ask that much of him to begin with. Puck had been on so many dates in the last year that came along with sighs and eye rolls and silence, that Kurt was pretty sure Puck only did it for Kurt's sake. Going along with Puck's desperate search for Finn would only be fair, right? "Fine."

"You take the bus station," Puck told Kurt, shoving Kurt's car keys into his hands. "I'll do airport."

"What about the train?" Kurt asked, but Puck was already out the door, his hoodie in one hand and his wallet and keys in the other.

Kurt debated just staying at home and telling Puck Finn hadn't been at the bus terminal, but Puck had known when Kurt was lying about how Puck's guitar neck had cracked. He's be able to tell when Kurt was lying about going after Finn.

Go figure that Kurt made his living acting, and yet he couldn't lie to his boyfriend and get away with it.

Giving up the ruse as a lost cause, Kurt slipped his feet into his shoes, gave his hair a cursory once-over in the mirror next to the door, and looked up the nearest bus station to their house on the way out.

Somehow, Kurt expected the bus station to be busier than it was. And not so depressing or dingy, with papers scattered about here and there and more than a little dust on the floor. Most of the plastic seating stood in empty rows, with a few occupants here and there. None of those occupants were Finn.

"Final call for the 9:40 departure to Fresno with express service to Bakersfield, you may board at Vehicle Bay 16. Final call for the 9:40 departure to Fresno at Bay 16."

Kurt searched around for Bay 16, and found that one of the exit doors indicated it was just beyond. He jogged over to the door and exited it, finding a row of silver busses all parked next to the building. Only one of the busses had a line of people waiting to get on it, and one of the passengers in line stood noticeably taller than the others.

"Finn!"

Finn turned toward Kurt's voice, his lips parting in surprise.

Hurrying over to him, Kurt cried, "Finn! Don't–" Kurt swallowed as he reached Finn and came to a stop. "Don't go. Not yet."

"I have to." Finn looked away from Kurt and stepped forward as the line moved. "You don't understand, Kurt. I have to go figure out all my shit. I can't put that on you guys."

"Finn, we _want_ your shit!" Realizing how that sounded, Kurt felt his cheeks flush hot as he stepped forward to keep pace with Finn. "I mean, we want you here with us. Don't go. I can't– He's going to leave me."

"Who? Puck?" Finn shook his head, stepping forward again, only a handful of people more before he would reach the bus door. "He'd never leave you."

"He will!" Kurt insisted, hazarding a hand on Finn's elbow. "He's been pulling away for months because the only third both of us can agree on is _you_! If I let you go, I might as well let Puck go too." Kurt released his grip on Finn's arm and backed away. In no way was this fair to Finn, dumping Kurt's relationship problems onto him. "I'm sorry. Like you said, you've got your own shit to figure out. I guess Puck and I do, too. Call me when you get to wherever you're going. I want to know you made it safely."

As Kurt walked away, Finn called out to him. "Kurt!"

Kurt refused to turn around. This _was_ the fool's errand Kurt figured it would be, even if it wasn't for the same reasons he'd assumed at first. Kurt couldn't rely on Finn's presence fixing everything between him and Puck, especially when he wasn't so sure things _could_ be fixed.

When Finn grabbed Kurt and turned him around, the tears that had been brimming in Kurt's eyes finally fell onto his cheeks. "Kurt!"

"What?" Kurt cried, wiping his face with one sleeve. "You're going to miss your bus."

"How do you want me?" Finn asked, and Kurt could honestly say he wasn't quite sure what the question meant. "Do you want me here as a friend? As a brother? As a– as a lov–"

Finally understanding the question, Kurt threw his arms around Finn's neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Finn gave a surprised grunt, but then his hands landed on Kurt's back and he returned the kiss. One kiss turned into several desperate kisses, Kurt mashing his lips against Finn's as forcefully as he dared. Kurt could only hope that the kiss would let Finn know how he was wanted, and how _much_ he was wanted.

Kurt didn't ever want the kiss to end, and Finn didn't pull away either, not until a loud voice cried out next to them, "Hey, buddy! You getting on the bus or not?"

Looking up as Finn drew away, Kurt saw the voice must have come from the uniformed clerk standing next to them. Kurt then looked up at Finn, who met Kurt's eyes and said, "Go without me. I'm staying here."

"Suit yourself," the clerk said, his footsteps receding as Kurt kept his eyes locked on Finn's.

"This is a horrible idea," Kurt said, wiping away another tear and giving Finn a half-smile.

Finn shrugged. "Probably." The smile he gave Kurt made Kurt's heart ache with sadness and leap with hope. "But as far as my life goes, horrible ideas are sort of par for the course."

Chuckling, Kurt put a hand to Finn's face. "I'll try to make sure you don't regret it." Even though Kurt didn't believe in any sort of higher power, he found himself praying that he'd be able to keep his promise.

His eyes soft, Finn put his hand over Kurt's and asked, "Where's Puck?"

"At the airport, looking for you." Kurt smiled and took Finn's hand in his, drawing him back into the bus station. Kurt took his phone from his pocket. "Come on. Let's go find him."

 

_Don't pay no mind to the demons,_  
 _they fill you with fear._  
 _The trouble it might bring you down._  
 _If you're lost, you can always be found._  
 _Just know you're not alone._  
 _I'm gonna make this place your home._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Please comment and don't forget to go to [the artist's masterpost](http://imgur.com/a/lMPWD) or her [tumblr](http://cdrmanamana.tumblr.com/) and leave her a comment about her awesome work.
> 
> You can find me [on tumblr](http://pterawaters.tumblr.com)


End file.
